I think it should be called Finding Your Courage...

I took the plunge and signed up for the last photography class in the series I've participated in through the local modern art museum. I really hesitated about this one. It's called "Finding Your Vision." Does anyone else think that sounds totally daunting?!

Going into this I knew it included a reception at the end. Kind of like a gallery showing. You have to choose 8-10 photos. Learn how to frame and hang them. And then have REAL people come view them. While you're standing right there. Not like posting them on a blog. In your pj's. Where invisible people pop by to look. And either leave. Or leave a nice comment. No. You have to physically put yourself out there. In real life. In real clothes. Thank God there will be alcohol there.

I went to the first class. I expected to see a lot of familiar faces. A bunch of moms. With a camera. Just like me.

ummm...not so much.

This class seems to be filled with retired professionals. A professor. A non-profit director. And even a non-retired surgeon. *shit* They're not going to want to look at pictures of my kids. What have I gotten myself into.

Before we left that first class we had to tell the teacher what our project would be. Already. At the first class. This alone pushes me right out of my comfort zone. What's the rush? I think we should get to know each other better. That's a little much on the first date.

The project has to tell a story. It has to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Because not only are we going to have a reception but we're going to make a book. Not exactly sure how this will work. But this part I'm looking forward to. Yet this was the part that made the project that much harder. Especially for the nature photographers in the group.

We had to bring a sampling of what we've been shooting lately. I brought a few photos from my Project 365. And even though she wants to push us outside our comfort zone. She encouraged me to do "A Day in the Life." Phew!

Still. It won't be easy. We're not that interesting. And besides. It's winter. That means a good portion of our life. Like going to the beach. And riding bikes. Will be left out. And I'll be left showing pictures of laundry.

And homework.

And dirty floors.

Do you think it's too late to back out now? If not. I think I need to find the wizard. And get me some of that courage.

Ten on Ten: November 2011

Happy Ten on Ten! Today started with the typical school routines. And ended with a little ladies night out. And in between we seem to have done nothing but eat. One of these months I'm going to have to try setting a timer to go off at the same time each hour to record more of the action.

Looking forward to peeking in on everyone else's days here. C'mon and join me.

Queen Bees and Wannabes...

Many of you asked me about the book I'm reading.  Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman.

I have to chuckle.  Here's why...

9am Thursday, October 6th. Phone call with my friend, "M" ends with...

M: Hey, I'm going to book club today at 11am. Would you like to come? We're reading Queen Bees & Wannabes. Have you heard of it?

Me: Oh yeah! I think I've seen that one! A book club? How fun! But I haven't read the book.

M: That's OK. We're only reading two chapters at a time. We're only on the 3rd and 4th chapters. 

Me: hmm...oh. Wow. I've never heard of a book club that meets AS you read the book. So do you pick a new book each month? 

M: Well...we haven't gotten that far yet. We're really just reading this one. 

Me: Oh. This sounds interesting. I've always wanted to be part of a book club. (visions of women and cocktails and snacks dancing around in my head) How great that you meet during the day. (Wow! These women really know how to live it up while their kids are at school!) I'm in!

And that is how I found myself reading a book subtitled "Helping your daughter survive cliques, boyfriends, and the new reality of Girl World" before I go to sleep at night. And facing sticky situations that are surely headed my way. Without the help of cocktails. Or snacks. To wash it down with. 

From the little I've read so far. And the discussions I've now sat in on. I need help. I am not ready. I need to pull my head out of the sand. I need the remedial group to read this book with. To discuss these topics with. To hold my hand. The one without the cocktail in it.

Ridin' Solo...

Summer's officially over here. Yes. I know school started almost a month ago. And even though the calendar confirmed this fact last Friday. The weather here has still been in the high 80's.

Nope. Summer officially ended here yesterday. When we dropped BSD off at the airport. To go back to work. For the next few .............  

So, I'm ridin' solo.

If I really sat down and dwelled on it. I'm sure I could throw myself a nice big pity party. Complete with party hats. And gallons of ice cream. Right out of the carton. I'm sure everything around me will start breaking. And my neighbors will soon be turning off the lights. And drawing their curtains. When they see me coming. But hey. It's nothing new. BTDT.

Plus, the ballerinas are older now. Only 3 months older than the last time. But even that little bit makes a difference. 

LB has more friends now. More of her own activities. Less dragging around after her big sister to do.

She's even more helpful these days. 

BB is in middle school now. 

She's more responsible. She's even got this funny little class called Study Hall. So when she gets home there's a lot less nagging about getting her homework done.

And then there's her strange SS teacher this year. A teacher so strange she somehow manages to teach the boring crap so that BB actually knows it. And I don't have to spend all night teaching it to her myself. The night before the test. Amazing. 

Now I'm not going to lie and say it's going to be great. Easy peasy. There will be times when I'll want to crawl in a hole and cry. Times when I'll want to list the ballerinas on Craigslist. 

But for now I'm going to focus on the positives.

• I have complete control of the computer again.
• I have complete control of the remote control again.
• I can go to the gym in the morning without feeling guilty.
• I can keep the lights on and read all night if I want to.
• I can eat cereal for dinner if I want to.
• I can eat ice cream for dinner if I want to.
• I can spend all day at TJMaxx if I want to.
• I can spend all day returning things to TJMaxx if I want to.

Yep. S-O-L-O. I'm ridin' solo.

Chasing Vision...

Last year I took a beginning photography class at the local art center. It was a great class, and I'm really excited that the teacher will now be offering two more levels of the course. The Intermediate class finally starts at the end of this month. I'm so excited!

This class will focus on off-camera flash, custom white balance and shooting in RAW, as well as continuing to explore aspects of composition and light. There will also be weekly photo critiques and possible off-site meet-ups for shooting. I cannot wait!

I've wanted to learn about off-camera flash for a while now. I have come to realize that no matter what I do, I am not going to be able to shoot strictly "natural light" in my house. I'm going to have to learn how to bounce flash. The only problem? I don't HAVE an off-camera flash. I will need to get one. So, of course, I turn to my photo bloggy friends out there for recommendations. Anyone have one they love? Hate? Care to share?

There's also a reading list involved this time. Shoot! This class is hard core. I've got both books already. I started the first one. I'm loving this one so far because the author is a choreographer. So, even though the book is for any creative pursuit she does refer to dancing quite a bit. And you know, we love us some dance around here.

I'm not even halfway through yet, but I like the message. A lot of it is basic. But, I like that she's saying you don't have to be born with the gift of genius to be great at something creative. You can LEARN it. Through practice. Copying. Commitment.

"There's a process that generates creativity -- and you can learn it. And you can make it habitual."  Sounds like a resounding endorsement for a Project 365. No?

She also says that you need skills to be creative. You need the proper prep work. "Without the time and effort invested in getting ready to create, you can be hit by the thunderbolt and it'll just leave you stunned." So, I'm hopefully going to get me some skillz by taking this class.

The other book is written by a photographer. This one is a beautiful book. Filled with amazing photos. I've only read the intro and I'm on board already. The book is "not a manual." It's not going to teach "technical stuff." It's a book about vision. And how to "chase it."

It's a rainy night. Excuse me. I'm off to chase some vision.

Joy of Luck: Gift

I'm back! I am so excited that Willette is offering another free class this month. The Joy of Luck. This one is a quickie. About a week or so. Anyone care to join me?

Today's assignment was "Gift." Something in your life that you are so lucky to have. That you take for granted. At first I was going to photograph gummy vitamins. Because I am so grateful that those are the strongest drugs anyone in our house needs. That we are all healthy. Such a gift. BUT...I was too superstitious to do that. I am afraid putting that out there into the universe would suddenly strike us down with illness. Cancer is still on my mind daily. It is my biggest fear these days. So...I decided not to tempt fate and went in a different direction for this assignment.

The beach. I can hop on my sweet cruiser and I'm on the beach in less than two minutes. Such a gift. So many days as we're relaxing on the beach BSD and I look at one another in amazement and say, "We are so LUCKY to live here!"

It's almost beach weather. Pretty soon we'll be able to do this minus the long sleeves and long pants. I can't wait!

Have You Seen These?

Spending endless hours in bed watching TV these past few weeks, I've seen a lot of commercials. I couldn't tell you what most of them were. I wasn't paying attention. But there have been two ads that I've actually looked forward to seeing. This first one from Chef Boyardee just makes me laugh. It's a dumb commercial, but I love this woman. She cracks me up!

   

And then there are the Zappos.com commercials. Have you seen these? The ones with the puppets? I adore these. If you really pay attention, the creativity that goes into the sets is fantastic. Lots of attention to detail. Way cool! My favorite of the series has to be the one about the workout clothes. Check it out. 

 

What about you? Do you have any favorite commercials?

But, What Happened to My Yoga Butt?

The temperature was a whopping 34 degrees this morning, but I managed to drag myself out of bed and hit the gym. I can't take the credit, though. My good friend, Nicole decided to start going on Tuesday and Thursday mornings so I now have a gym buddy again. YEAH!

I'm not going to lie, though. It wasn't pretty. I dug my cute yoga pants out from the bottom of my drawer, put them on, and took a look in the mirror. Staring back at me was a plump, fluffy muffin top. Nice. Months of haphazard exercising and dozens of chocolate chip cookies had taken its toll.

No problem. I hiked the pants up to cover the unsightly spillage. And, um, do you know what happens when you give a yoga pant a muffin top?

You get a nice case of camel toe. Sexy.

Now, if I didn't have my gym buddy waiting on me I would have shredded the offensive yoga pants, thrown them in the trash, and crawled back into bed.

But she was waiting.

So instead, I dug deeper into my bottom drawer, found my baggy basketball pants, pulled them on and ran out the door. I didn't dare look in the mirror. If I had, I'm sure I would have discovered a nice case of VPL or some other telltale sign of an extended exercise hiatus.

Luckily, I found my way back to the gym without having to turn on the GPS, and I'm proud to say I made it through the entire hour. I even managed to work up a sweat. And when I left, I felt energized. Definitely a productive morning.

But I just know the whole time I was there, everyone was staring at me wondering who the heck the lesbian was getting fashion tips from Sue Sylvester.

Thank you, Nicole, for not noticing. I'm off to Old Navy to get some of their "instant yoga butt" pants for Thursday.

When I Grow Up: The Theme Song

On Sunday afternoons, the big ballerina has a swim clinic. While she works on her strokes, I wander around Trader Joe's alone checking out the interesting food packages, gorging on their gourmet samples, and tasting this wine and that one and that one. It is me time at its finest.

When her class is over, we pop over to Joann's Fabrics pointing out all the fabrics that catch our eye until we finally choose the one she will use to make a new creation for her American Girl doll. From there, we make our way to Skinny Dip where we fill our bowls with low fat frozen yogurt turned high fat by the heaping mounds of candy we ladle on top. We sit together, sharing our treats and conversation. Just the two of us. It is mother daughter time at its finest.

On the drive home, giddy from our sugar highs, we crank the radio and sing along to the songs we know. This Sunday we tuned in to HOT 100 (or WIFC - Wholly Inappropriate for Children) so we could really get down. I previewed the song, heard the words, "When I Grow Up" and thought, No Way! I have a theme song? How COOL! 

From the backseat the big ballerina squealed, "Yes, Mama! I love this song. Turn it up!" I turned up the volume and found myself head bobbing to the beat. A theme song AND a great beat! This is so much fun! I wonder what it's going to recommend I be when I grow up. I love this song! 

Big ballerina is grooving in the back seat too. She's singing along to the chorus. I ask, "How do you know the words?"

"Julia has it on her iPod." she replies quickly and goes back to singing. I hear her from the back seat....

When I grow up
_wanna be famous
_wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
_ _____ ____ ___ world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have ______

When I grow up
Be on TV
____ ____ me
___ __ magazines

We shoulder roll in our seats through some random lyrics until the chorus comes along again. I listen to her more closely this time. 

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have boobies

WHAT?!?! Did you just say boobies!?!?!

This time I listen to the radio more closely. Sure enough I hear them say, "I wanna have boobies". I look at the digital display to see who the artist is. Of course, they said boobies. The song is by The Pussycat Dolls. I hate this song.

Guess I need to rethink this theme song idea...and this portion of our Sunday mother daughter bonding experience.

Sidenote: When I Googled the lyrics to post them here, I discovered that last line is actually... I wanna have groupies. Listen to the song yourself, and tell me they're not saying boobies! When I Grow Up  (Sorry it's a video. I don't know how to just post the music portion.)