I don't want to think about it. But in the quiet moments, it's all I can do.
I don't want to talk about it. I can't say the words out loud.
I don't want to go there. Because once I do, it becomes real. I can't continue to deny it.
I can accept that my 96 year old grandmother doesn't have much time left. She's lived a long and healthy life.
I can accept that my parents will not be here forever.
But I cannot accept that all of them may be gone before the end of this year.
I don't know this for sure. I only know what I read online.
Because I'm a coward. I'm too afraid to ask.
My mother has been battling a slow cancer for years, but I think it's getting too big now.
And this week my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
How do you bring yourself to accept it? To ask the hard questions? To talk about it?
Because I really don't want to.