Tuesday, January 12, 2010

But, What Happened to My Yoga Butt?

The temperature was a whopping 34 degrees this morning, but I managed to drag myself out of bed and hit the gym. I can't take the credit, though. My good friend, Nicole decided to start going on Tuesday and Thursday mornings so I now have a gym buddy again. YEAH!

I'm not going to lie, though. It wasn't pretty. I dug my cute yoga pants out from the bottom of my drawer, put them on, and took a look in the mirror. Staring back at me was a plump, fluffy muffin top. Nice. Months of haphazard exercising and dozens of chocolate chip cookies had taken its toll.

No problem. I hiked the pants up to cover the unsightly spillage. And, um, do you know what happens when you give a yoga pant a muffin top?

You get a nice case of camel toe. Sexy.

Now, if I didn't have my gym buddy waiting on me I would have shredded the offensive yoga pants, thrown them in the trash, and crawled back into bed.

But she was waiting.

So instead, I dug deeper into my bottom drawer, found my baggy basketball pants, pulled them on and ran out the door. I didn't dare look in the mirror. If I had, I'm sure I would have discovered a nice case of VPL or some other telltale sign of an extended exercise hiatus.

Luckily, I found my way back to the gym without having to turn on the GPS, and I'm proud to say I made it through the entire hour. I even managed to work up a sweat. And when I left, I felt energized. Definitely a productive morning.

But I just know the whole time I was there, everyone was staring at me wondering who the heck the lesbian was getting fashion tips from Sue Sylvester.

Thank you, Nicole, for not noticing. I'm off to Old Navy to get some of their "instant yoga butt" pants for Thursday.


Grey Street Girl said...

Good for you! It really helps to have an exercise buddy to keep you going. Those yoga butt pant commercials make me laugh, but I bet you'll look awesome in them!

Lisa and Laura said...

Oh my god, SUE! I've missed her. You totally had me laughing out loud.

And yeah, my yoga pants aren't lookin' so hot these days either. Damn twizzlers.

Kimberly said...

OH, do tell about the Old Navy yoga pants! I saw the commercial and am dying to know if they do anything miraculous to my bootie :)


Kim said...

GSG- Yes, I am really good about exercising when I have a buddy. For some reason, they all keep quitting on me. I must smell.

Lila- Sue was all I kept thinking about when I put on those pants. I can't believe I even own those pants. It's not like a play basketball or something athletic like that.

Kimberly - I'll let you know about the ON pants. That commercial is NOT something to watch w/your 9 year old. "Momma, what's a yoga butt?"

Daisy Whitney said...

I love my yoga pants!

Erin said...

hehehe. you are too funny. nothing worse than camel toe. i would rather see a muffin top.

i love sue. the actress that plays her, jane lynch, is one of my favorites. she is great in everything.