BIcycle Birthday Bash: 2010

Every year on the first day of summer, we hop on our bikes and head to the boardwalk to celebrate my friend's birthday.  This year, feeling pretty smug about my growing photography skills, I toted along my tiny pocket camera to document the tradition. Luckily, nobody was expecting much of me. Because it's impossible to take a decent picture when you wait until you're one and half beers, one pineapple downside up martini, and two bottles of wine into the evening to pull out the camera.

So, the big bicycle birthday bash of 2010 scrapbook has no pictures of bicycles. No pictures of presents. And no pictures even remotely in focus. I guess I'm not grown up enough to be a professional photographer just yet.

And since I'm still immature, I'm going to take you along for the ride anyway. Grab your helmet.

The party starts off with dinner. In a nice restaurant. On a night that happens to be half price wine night. So, of course, we have to order twice as much wine. But not before BSD knocks over his martini. And is immediately brought another one. That he doesn't need.

After dinner, we ride over to an outside bar. Where we sit around the fire pit. As I'm enjoying the view and the fresh air...

our friends order a round of Lemon Drop shooters. Our friends who are all members of the Lemon Drop shooter professional team. Lick, Down-the-hatch, Suck. Or is it the other way around? I have no idea. Because they are so quick. And I am trying to take pictures. For the birthday girl. But everyone is moving so fast. 

See? They wouldn't sit still! 

Seconds later the team captain is paying the bill. 

And I still haven't figured out how to play the game. In the end, I went with lick, sip, suck. Lip, sip, suck. Lick, sip, suck. And I took a lot of crap for it. I don't think I made the team.


Back on our bikes for a long ride down the boardwalk to a bar called Waterman's. Famous for their gift shop. Their cool chandeliers. 

And their Orange Crushes. I don't know why they're so famous. They taste like St. Joseph's baby aspirin to me. At that point, it would have been much more helpful had my cup been filled with crushed baby aspirin and soda water. 

But still holding out hope of making the team, I had one Orange Crush. I'm pretty sure everyone else had two. I couldn't keep track. Everyone kept morphing into hyperdrive. I guess you get that super power once you've been on the team for a few years.

From there, we go off in search of dessert. Like flies to a bright light, we land at Dairy Queen. See the neon Dairy Queen sign? You don't need glasses to make out those letters.

I was too busy scarfing down my extra large peanut butter cup Blizzard to take any pictures of it. Sorry. But I did manage to get some GREAT pictures at our next stop. 


Check it out. See my friends riding the Fun Slide? You can totally make out the smiles on their faces.

And here. Look at the birthday girl waving her arms in the air on the ferris wheel.

Maybe I should be a photographer when I grow up after all. I'm not going to cross that one off my list just yet. Nope. I think I have real potential.

                       What Am I Going to Be When I Grow Up? 

                                      8.    Professional Lemon Drop shooter team member
                                      9.    Spokeswoman for the responsible drinking and riding coalition 
                                    10.    Photographer

Resolution #2: Check

I was searching online for a local photography class a new friend recently mentioned. I don't know what she was talking about because it's not listed anywhere on their site. Hate when that happens.

Buuuuuttttt, check out what I found instead....

Children's Picture Book Writing Workshop

This hands-on workshop introduces basic information about the craft of writing for children and will also delve in the business of publishing children's picture books. Participants will develop a picture-book manuscript, get feedback, and work to strengthen the story with revision. The workshop also provides an overview of the editing, illustration and publishing process. Students should bring their imagination along with their favorite children's book for discussion. 

A 6 week session beginning June 5
Open to: writers of all levels of experience 

I couldn't believe it. Months ago I searched for local writing classes and came up empty. Then, BAM! This bad boy flashes across my screen. You know me and signs. It must have been meant to be, right? What are the odds?  I mean, c'mon. I meet this new friend. I happen to ask her about her camera. She happens to mention these "mystery" photography classes. I happen to try to find them. The class session happens to start just when BSD will be starting vacation so I don't have to worry about child care. Blah, blah, blah.

The course description sounds comprehensive. I hope it's worthwhile. I've been hanging out on some really amazing writer's blogs (here, here, and here) so I'm feeling pretty smart that I know what's up. This will be me....

I'm going to know all the answers. I'll be the overachiever. I'm going to blow them all away with my brilliance and creativity. They're going to ask me to teach the next session.

Yeah, right. 

This is more likely....

I'll gather up my pathetic scraps of paper with ideas and quotes and slink into the room. Wondering who the other students are. What their "level of experience" is. Am I going to be the only one who's never completed a full manuscript? Do all of my ideas suck? Are they going to all head over to the coffee shop after class to listen to poetry readings, smoke clove cigarettes and laugh about "that mom who thinks she's going to write a children's book?"

At least I can complete the first assignment. There are a ton of picture books that I love. I just need to pick one favorite. Oh, and since I don't smoke, I'll get a cool beret so maybe my classmates will let me tag along after all.

Resolution #2: Check

I've Got Some Funk in My Trunk

Why does the new year start during the winter? You're supposed to work out, eat right and be energized. In the winter. When it's cold. No wonder nobody follows through on their resolutions. What sadist created the calendar?

All I want to do is lay on the couch, pig out and take a nap. It's freakin' cold! Well, by Virginia standards it's cold. Temps in the 30's was shorts weather when I lived in Vermont. If it's going to be this cold I want some snow. I want to be able to strap on some snowshoes and explore a mountain. Without the snow, I have no interest in stepping outside my front door.

Luckily, I haven't broken any resolutions....yet. I know better than to put diet and exercise goals on my list. But, I need to get out of this funk.

Soon.

Mother Nature, I need your help. Throw me a bone, please.

If not ...

What Am I Going to Be When I Grow Up?

 1.  Bouncer

 2.  Mall Santa

 3.  "Before" Model

Better Safe Than....a Sorry Sewing Machine

As expected, BSD's recent brilliant idea turned out to be a bust. The foot pedal on that cute little sewing machine didn't work. At all. So, back it went to Joann's Santa's workshop. In BSD's defense, however, he did score major points for another gift he bought.

If you remember, the Little Ballerina likes to steal borrow things. Especially things that belong to her older sister. This borrowing inevitably leads to crying, which leads to screaming, which leads to hitting, which leads to throwing things, which leads to doors slamming, which leads to headaches, which leads to the Mean-Ass Woman searching the Want Ads for any excuse to get the hell out of the house.

In an effort to prevent this vicious cycle, BSD bought the Big Ballerina a safe for Christmas. Together, they stashed all of the Big Ballerina's valuables in the safe. In went her earrings, her DS, and most importantly, her gum. Then, they searched until they found the perfect hiding place for the key. Behind a little flower-shaped mirror hanging above her bed. Genius.

"Momma, what does the key to BB's safe look like again?" the Little Ballerina asked me this morning after Kindergarten, while her big sister still had 3 hours of school to go.

"It's just a key."

"I know, but I just want to see it because I can't remember what it looks like," she tried.

"You don't need to know what it looks like. It's not yours," I reminded her.

"I know. I just want to see it," she pleaded.

"Sorry, sweetie."

"It's hanging on a ribbon, isn't it? I think that ribbon might be mine," she said, trying a new angle.

"Sorry, sweetie. It's hidden and I don't know where," I lied, eager to end the interrogation.

Exasperated, she wandered off to the playroom to play with her new Barbies.

Or so I thought.

Tonight, as I was tucking the Big Ballerina into bed, I glanced down at the ugly, black safe on her floor. Scattered around the big metal box were my car keys, the key to the neighbor's house that we keep for emergencies, and two of the "mock keys" that we store above the bedroom doors so we can gain access if we get locked out.

As I gathered the keys, I wondered how long the Little Ballerina sat there desperately trying to jimmy each one into the lock. Praying that one of them was the magic key. That one of them would pop open that safe like a Jack-in-the-Box showering her in an endless stream of Hubba Bubba.

And, since that didn't happen. I wonder how many more questions about the key I'm going to be able to handle before I decide that flipping burgers at ....

... is a good thing to be when I grow up.


* Day 5 and I've still taken a picture every day. I know it's a lame photo, but I was desperate to take a picture of something today. I wish there were some clouds with a ray of sunshine streaming through in that shot to go along with the story.

It Started With a Dream

Did anyone catch the interview with Stephenie Meyer on Oprah last week? I'm not an Oprah fan and I haven't read any of the Twilight series, but I was really interested to see this interview. And, I'm so glad I did.

For the writers who stop by now and then, this is probably such old news to you, but I was shocked when I found out Stephenie was "just a mom". The author of the most sought-after young adult fiction books with crazed fans across the globe was just a mom who had a dream.

A dream! Not the "I dream of becoming a famous writer" kind of dream. The "I've got three kids under five, I'm so sleep-deprived I'm lucky if I nap long enough to even begin a dream" dream!

Holy crap! I think that's simply amazing.

The woman had no writing background. No aspirations of becoming a writer. No deep fascination with vampires. Heck, she didn't even realize she was writing a novel until she was done. (I'll bet she's also one of those women who didn't know she was pregnant until the baby fell out while she was running a marathon.) She was just "having fun, escaping into a fantasy land" recording what she saw in that one dream.

And then she went on to write three more books in the series at a rate of one per year?! That was some frickin' dream! Her mattress company should be beating down her door begging for a testimonial.

I decided there must be something to this dream business. In a writing book I was reading a while back, it also said to pay close attention to your dreams and record them when you wake up. "Relax yourself before you go to sleep and tell yourself you will remember your dream when you wake," the author suggested.

Well, I tried it, but either I am dream-impaired or destined to write a story about...

1) having to go to the bathroom (#2) and the only bathroom stalls available are either taken, clogged or those ultra bizarrely shaped toilets that have no seats and you'd never sit on it in a million years, not even with one of those paper toilet seat covers. What are those toilets supposed to be used for anyway?

or

2) not being able to graduate from college because I didn't go to one class all semester and there's no way I'll pass the final (and then I wake up truly wondering if I did, indeed, graduate. It takes me forever to remember that I did because it was so many years ago that I'm already starting to forget. You'd think I should be over this type of dream by now, wouldn't you?)

Not sure there's a best-seller in either of those, but I have them often enough that they must mean something. Anyone here a got a clue what that might be? Do I really want to know?

What about you? Do you have any recurring dreams or have you gotten any story ideas from dreams?

Does Going on a Quest Require Leaving the House?

You know how in all the storybooks the hero goes out on a big quest to find something only to discover in the end that it was right there under his nose all along? I'm wondering if that is what is going to happen to me. I'm going out on this journey to find my "purpose", but perhaps I need to start looking right here at home. Maybe the huge stack of books on my nightstand holds the answer. I think I'll start there.

Let's see...here's a smattering of what's currently teetering next to my head as I sleep...

Hop! Plop! - This adorable picture book by Corey Schwartz is my new go to birthday present for the 5 and under crowd. My little ballerina giggles throughout this story at Mouse and Elephant's struggles and gives the book a "group hug" at the end. It's a sweet story that we both love to read over and over. Corey also has a fun blog about writing picture books that I follow called Thing 1 and Thing 2. Hmm....


Fresh Home Magazine - I found this great magazine at Lowe's the other day. It's a brand new magazine with lots of cool projects. I could spend hours reading these kinds of magazines. Right now, I'm working on getting BSD to let me paint our kitchen countertops based on an article in this issue. So far, all I've gotten out of the pitch is a new dish soap dispenser. I'll try the ballerina's tactic and keep bugging him until I've beaten him down and he agrees.

My Sister's Keeper - I saw the movie before reading the book. Big mistake. Now the book gets cast aside each night for something newer. OK, Anne, tell me how the book ends. I still don't see how it could be worse than the movie's ending. I was bawling hard enough into my popcorn and mochi when we saw it 3 months ago!

 Trinny and Susannah Take on America - I have this one out of the library because I wanted to find a picture of Trinny's hair to take to my hair stylist. Unfortunately, there weren't any recent pictures of her in the book, but I have yet to return it. What happened to their show anyway? I loved watching these two strip down to their undies right along with their makeover candidates. They crack me up.

Making the Cut - Jillian Michaels' latest book promising to take you from fit to fantastic in 30 days. Unfortunately, I haven't even cracked it open. My fitness routine has been suffering. The only thing I've managed to do lately is run in preparation for the Wicked 10k Race on Halloween. I haven't haunted my gym in quite some time. At this rate, it's going to take me a lot longer than 30 days to make the cut.

Time of My Life - This is one of those "What if?" books. What if the main character made a different choice and didn't get married and have kids? What if she kept on her career path? Where would she be today? Then one morning she wakes up 7 years in the past and gets to relive it. Reminds me of that movie with Nicolas Cage and Tea Leone. Not sure what she learns about herself yet or if I'll learn anything either. We'll see.

 

Focus on the Good Stuff: The Power of Appreciation- I stumbled on this book while researching another book and it intrigued me. Mike Robbins was a professional baseball player whose career ended after an arm injury. This book is supposed to help you stop focusing on all the bad things and practice finding the good in order to live a happier, more fulfilling life. As a glass half empty girl, I figured I could use a little of this. But, if you get all preachy on me, Mike, after 3 strikes you're out.

I think these books have good potential for some thoughtful insight. Now, if I could just read for more than 5 minutes before falling asleep maybe I'd learn something from them.

In search of the perfect fit....

I caved. I've started a blog. Still refuse to join Facebook though. I must draw the cyber line somewhere. Besides, I'm trying to move forward, not back. Isn't Facebook all about reconnecting with old friends? I do enough online socializing. I need to use the computer for something else for a change.

I started this blog because I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my life. I used to teach. Way back when. I had a title back then. I had a purpose. I was good. I was tough. I worked my ass off 24/7, 365 days a year in overcrowded classrooms. My students' SAT scores improved each year. I was innovative. My colleagues and principal loved me. I had no kids at the time so I had no idea what it was like to raise a child; to love a child unconditionally. I was lacking a key ingredient. I don't think you can be exceptional if you don't have kids of your own. You can't relate to parents as a parent when you don't have children. A big piece of the pie is missing if you can't relate to your students' parents. Being a parent should be a requirement before you get your teaching certificate. I know many teachers will disagree with me, but that's because you're not a parent.

People ask me all the time if I will go back into the classroom. No, I won't. I have kids now so, according to myself, the potential for greatness is there. It seems like the easy answer. Go back to what you know. But, I just don't have it in me anymore. That dress doesn't fit anymore. I need a new one. If you looked in my closet, you'd probably disagree, but you'd also see a lot of dresses with the tags still attached. Those are the dresses I've been afraid to wear out in public. I love them, but I don't have the guts to walk out the door in them. This blog is going to be my virtual dressing room. I'm going to try on these different dresses to figure out which one fits. I wonder if the right dress is already in my closet or if I'll have to go shopping. Shopping....now that is something I know a lot about. Can I teach people about shopping?!??