Thursday, January 13, 2011

Beauty

I took these pictures of my sister in December when I was up in Connecticut visiting my mom. They were for the last assignment of my photo class. Using my sister's camera, I found some beautiful light in her tiny upstairs room and took some photos of her. It was the last day of that visit. We had just woken up. She was such a trooper. She didn't even brush her hair. Or her teeth. She just sat and let me explore. The light. The space. Her face.

When I got home I showed them to BSD. His response was, "Those are not very flattering pictures of your sister." I wanted to argue, but I didn't think he'd understand. These portraits may not be flattering in a mainstream way. But I only see beauty.

I see the beauty in a woman who is not afraid to let a camera take her picture as she steps out of bed.

I see the beauty in a woman who has been going to work in the morning, 

who spends her lunch hour by our mother's side, 

who goes back to work, 

who goes home for dinner, 

and then goes back to the hospital to be with our mother in the evening. 

Every day.

Every lunch.

Every evening.
For weeks. And weeks.

I can only hope to be half as beautiful as she is.

I typed the majority of this post with one hand. Holding my mom's hand while she slept in the other. I am back in Connecticut with my mom and my sister. This past week has been a gift. As hard as it's been. As many tears as I've shed. I am grateful for these last few moments we will share. I'm not looking for sympathy. I just wanted to update you on why I've been gone.


26 comments:

{Amy} said...

ahhh...this makes me want to cry... what your sister does for your mother and then seeing the old photos that shows her taking care of you guys. i just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and i have no words for you...just know that i am thinking of you. XO

Nicolle said...

Your sister is beautiful. What an absolutely amazing post. I want to come up there right now and give you a big hug. Blessings to you and your sister and your mom. To all of you, I pray for peace.

much love!

Diana said...

Oh Kim. Words cannot describe how I feel after reading this. The women in your family are so beautiful, inside and out and you are fortunate to be able to capture all of this so that years from now you will be able to share all of it with your daughters. May the love you feel when you are with your sister and mother stay with you always. XO Diana

Kerri said...

Absolutely beautiful Kim. All three of you. Thanks for sharing something so sacred with us. I will be praying for you and your family.

Stacey said...

Beautiful. Prayers for you and your family.

gabe said...

isn't it amazing that when love is involved the way we see another person changes?? It is obvious that you love your sister very much and that love captured her beauty. She is a beautiful woman!

I love looking at the old photos of your mom and you guys. . .

I am so glad that you got this gift of this week. Wondered if you were with your mom and have been praying for you!

serialswooper.com said...

Beautiful. Thinking of you and your Mom and your love for each other. Hugging my own family a little tighter today.

BTW, we're headed to CT tomorrow. Where are you?

mandy said...

your portraits are beautiful.

keeping your family in my thoughts.

sending hugs your way.

Andrea said...

That is a wonderful post! Your sister has such a natural beauty. Take care x

Anonymous said...

Kim -- this is the most amazing post / blog entry I have seen ... so touching ... loving . .. tender .. shows the real beauty of a woman; not what many think we should look like.

My heart, prayers, thoughts, love and big tight squishy hugs are with you now as you are home with your mother and sister; Im not too far please call 978-376-8124 if you need anything ...

Your mother is beautiful --- as are you and your sister; many prayers my friend ... xoxoxox

Sue Robinson

Kristen said...

What a beautiful post. Thanks for your kind comment :) I look forward to following your blog!

Debbie said...

Beauty is the sheer love expressed and displayed in this unbelievably touching post. You have captured such strong feelings and emotions in these telling photos- the love and admiration you have for Claire comes across so strongly. And the anguish you are both experiencing with your mom- words cannot express how much my heart feels for both of you. Please know I am always here if you need me...
All my love to you, dear friend.

Dani said...

This is all so beautiful.

I'm not sending sympathy...but I am sending thoughts of strength, comfort, and love. Hugs, too.

sloan said...

oh kim, that last image of you typing with one hand as you hold your mom's hand with the other has caused the lump in my throat to turn to tears ... this post was so moving, so beautifully written. thanks for sharing.

i'm wishing you strength and praying for you and your family at this unbearably difficult time ...

Bridget said...

These picctures are gorgeous! My prayers are with you and your family, my friend.

Anonymous said...

You captured the beauty of your pictures with the beauty of your words. I'm sharing a few tears with you now. How special to be able to show your two girls how you're amazing mom had such a wonderful "full circle" life. Stay there with her - we've got the family covered as long you like.
Love you - Anne

Kimberly {YeP, they are all mine} said...

I've missed you, Kim - sending strength your way. I agree, the portraits are stunning, raw, intense. xo

My Interior Life said...

Kim,

That is truly one of the most beautiful posts I have read. You, your sister and your mother exemplify true beauty on the inside and out. My best to you right now.

All my best,
Kathy

Cathy M~(checkitoff) said...

Kim, I am teary eyed. simply beautiful. hugs, cathy

Jill said...

I love this post and the pictures are amazing. Your sister is beauttiful! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

I have an award for you on my blog!

Many Blessings,
Jill

Mary Cate said...

Wow, your Mother must be so proud of the wonderful women you and your sister have become. Feel lucky you can all share this time together.

Sending big tight squishy hugs,
LULAS,
MC

Karina said...

Oh my goodness - the tears are streaming. What a wonderful collection of photos of your beautiful sister - the love you have comes shining through. Thinking of you at this difficult time.

Jess said...

so beautiful...these pictures are so real Kim...thats what makes them so amazing...thank you for sharing these during this difficult time...i wish you strength, peace, love and most of all...more time with your mom. i am thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs!!!!!!

Bringing Pretty Back said...

She is BEAUTIFUL.

jen said...

This is beautiful. You're so lucky to have a sister you feel so much love for.

Anonymous said...

Kim, Thank you for your sharing through photos and words! I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I am inspired by her and her fight. I had only a moment today to peek here at your blog (1st time visiting) however last year at age 37 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and have survived treatment and am here today learning to continue to live and love my 3 kiddos, so I thank you for sharing your story and the story of your mother...and for capturing the beauty! Blessings to you and your family! ~C
cmh esh at yahoo dot com