Wednesday, September 9, 2009

An Unexpected Side Effect

Wow! Now that I've started this blog my thoughts are spinning and bouncing around in my head like pinballs.  I am constantly thinking about what I'm going to post next. It's exciting and exhilarating, but also a little stressful. I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself to relate every single post directly to my blog title. I may need to add a subtitle to free myself a bit. Instead of trying on a new dress every time, I may need to just window shop a bit in between, or maybe I'll purge some of the dresses that I know will never fit. Some days may I ask you to just join me for a drink and some idle chat?

On the upside is the positive effect this blog has had on my running. Even just saying that "I run" is a big step forward. For years, I've walked. Walking has always been good to me. It's kept me sane and fairly fit.

I've been walking since I had my first child almost 10 years ago. At first it was a way to calm her down when she was crying. I'd strap her in her stroller and just walk until she calmed down or fell asleep. Then the walk became something more for my benefit than hers. We moved on to the sore back stage. If you've ever walked with a toddler in a stroller you'll recognize this phase. This is where you can barely stand up straight when you're done because you've been hunched over the whole time reading stories and retrieving toys thrown overboard. My walking has been my constant companion through two young children. They have both outgrown the stroller, but I have not outgrown my walks.

For a while now, I've been running a portion of my route. I walk the first half and run the second. Slowly, I've worked my way up to running more than walking, yet I still say, "I'm going for a walk." It seemed pretentious to say, "I'm going for a run." when I barely run 3 miles. It feels like I'm cheating on a good friend to call it a run instead of a walk.

Since starting this blog, I have noticed that the running portion has become easier. My thoughts have taken over so that I no longer dwell on how much farther I have to go. My mind is now running alongside my legs instead of against them. I've started increasing my distance, but oddly enough, my time is not increasing with it. I think my manic thoughts are the reason. They are like the wind at my back pushing me forward.

In the end, if this blog doesn't answer the question of what I should be when I grow up at least the experience will have made me stronger. And if I do wind up finding the right dress after all, my legs should be looking pretty darn good once I finally walk out the door in it!

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