Sunday, May 15, 2011

She better be hot...

It never fails. As soon as BSD leaves, something breaks. Something important. Something we can't live without.

Our hot water heater has always been a temperamental bitch. She lives in the attic. Which she hates. Every time it gets unbearably hot, she turns off her pilot light. So we bought her a fan. A big-ass fan. A fan that turns on automatically when it gets hot. And vents out through the roof. Was that good enough for her? Apparently not.

Yesterday she turned her pilot light off...again. Even though it was barely 75 degrees. And this time she refused to relight.

Of course, I hadn't showered that morning. And I spent the afternoon sweating out in the yard. And then I was enveloped in smoke as I grilled burgers for dinner. I was looking forward to nothing more than a nice hot shower. Three minutes into it last night, I realized it wasn't going to happen.

Our faithful neighbor came to our rescue. But even he couldn't get her to cooperate. So I was forced to take a bone-chilling shower. It sucked. But I wasn't about to let her gloat by going to bed dirty.

This morning I cornered my other neighbor for help. Luckily, he has a better rapport with the ladies. He sweet talked her. Did a little dirty dancing with her. Bought her a special gift. And got her so hot. That she's still all aglow.

Hopefully, he left a really lasting impression. Because if she pulls anymore of this crap. She's going to be replaced. By a newer. younger. hotter. model.

I am not a big drinker. Especially not a wine drinker. But I am making a huge pot of my dad's special tomato sauce.


And I've saved myself a glass of wine. I'm going to make a nice hot bath. And stew myself. Just like those tomatoes.

18 comments:

Karina said...

Oh no - that totally sucks. The joys of home ownership. I've never heard of a hot water heater in the attic - no wonder she's putting up a fuss.

Enjoy that vino my friend - you most certainly deserve it. Here's hoping it will all be better in the morning.

Andrea said...

Oh dear. Typical these things have great timing breaking down. Hope she behaves herself! Hope you enjoyed the wine xo

Elena (Running in Heels After Child) said...

Well I hope she stays nice and hot, and I hope that you enjoy your bath and the wine and the sauce for that matter.

best,

elena

Elena (Running in Heels After Child) said...

Well I hope she stays nice and hot, and I hope that you enjoy your bath and the wine and the sauce for that matter.

best,

elena

Elena (Running in Heels After Child) said...

Well I hope she stays nice and hot, and I hope that you enjoy your bath and the wine and the sauce for that matter.

best,

elena

Amy said...

Aww, that stinks. Hope she continues to cooperate for you. Hope you enjoyed your bath and wine too :-)

sloan said...

nothing more frustrating than the hot water heater quietly malfunctioning - so glad she's up and running again! And, btw, that really IS a huge pot o' sauce - whoa!

Nicolle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nicolle said...

Oh goodness, something always breaks (or I break something big time), or Boyd gets sick....every time Kevin goes out of town. NEVER fails. Sorry about that witchy water heater of yours! :) Cold showers suck!

Oh that special tomato sauce looks DIVINE!

Love the photo of you and your glass of wine. I hope you enjoyed it!

vanessa said...

Sorry but I had to laugh. This was hilarios. I hope she stays hot for you. As with all things I am sure as soon as your husband comes home, she will be a perfect lady.

Jill said...

That's a bummer...I've never heard of one in the attic before. Ours has always been in the basement where we've lived. Hopefully nothing else will happen while he's gone! Enjoy that wine :-)

Blessings,
Jill

Jen said...

A cold shower is the worst!!!
Love that you stewed yourself in that hot bath!
We are heading your way. Volleyball tourney has been moved to Hampton Roads. Is that very far from you?

Bridget said...

Cold showers are yuck. Glad your other neighbor was able to help get it relit.

I'd be having a glass of wine, too!

Corey Schwartz said...

Oh, enjoy stewing!

Jen said...

Hi! Great to hear... I will get the details and tournament schedule by Thursday. Email me at jensinkpen@aol.com and we can exchange numbers etc... I really hope it works out.

Pam said...

And those newer hotter models aint cheap! I'm hoping she stays around awhile for ya...( BTW..Bought Simplicity Parenting at the bookstore not Whole Foods)

Kerri said...

Doesn't look like there's much wine left in that bottle! ;) Hope she continues to stay hot...but you know how us women are!

Dani said...

Hope that bitch stays hot.

If not, make sure to save 2 glasses.