Friday, October 21, 2011

$25,000 Sunglasses

It's been an emotional week. Had my yearly gyn appointment. Brought up the fact that both of my parents died of cancer. Wonderful, caring, diligent doctor scheduled me for an ultrasound because of this. I didn't think much of it.

I peeked at the monitor as the tech marked certain areas. And appeared to be measuring them. I may have even joked about letting me know if she finds a heartbeat while she's wanding around in there. I didn't think much of it.

As I was putting on my clothes I studied the computer screen. I tried to figure out if there was anything on there. I noticed the little folder icons next to certain words. And the absence of folders next to others. There was a folder next to "fibroids." I didn't think much of it.

I went to my book club meeting immediately after. We talked about the art of the apology. I brought up a painful situation that happened with the LB back in Kindergarten. Talking about it. In front of a group of women I barely knew. Reduced me to tears. I didn't think much of it.

That night I got on the computer. I started googling fibroids. And that's when I found it. And remembered.

About 50% of women have fibroids. Fibroids are benign tumors in almost all women. But in a very few cases they are really leiomyosarcomas. A rare form of cancer. The cancer that just took my mom's life in January.

I haven't heard anything from my doctor yet. I have no idea if I do indeed have fibroids. Or if it's LMS. But in case I do I am prepared.

I bought myself a pair of sunglasses. Even though I already have a perfectly good pair. I've never had more than one pair of sunglasses at a time. It never even crossed my mind to have more than one pair. Until I got a glimpse into Camille Grammar and Rachel Zoe's closets.

I figured if the news is bad. I could use a few extra pair of sunnies to cheer me up. And to hide the tears.

$25,000 sunglasses? Not exactly. More like $25 sunglasses. But today. They are priceless.


Erin from Skoots and Cuddles said...

new sunglasses always brighten my day! i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers... hoping that all is well.

Gabe said...

Oh, Kim....praying that you hear back sooner than later and that it just fibroids!

Enjoy your new sunglasses and maybe a drink or two:)

CIndy S said...

thinking of you, my friend. hang in. news will be good.

Kerri said...

You are a smokin' hot mama! Nice sunglasses!

Saying a prayer that all is I know it will be. Hugs my friend!

Cindy said...

Ditto what Kerri said!!
Will sunglasses do that for me?!?!?!;)
Things like taht are so scary.
Hang in there, pray and expect the BEST!!!
Sending prayers up for you.

Kristi said...

Praying for you. I know everything will be okay. I hope you find out soon. I'm thinking about scheduling a mammogram appt soon. My Mom had breast cancer and the thought that I could have that one day scares me. I think I would be buying sunglasses too...oh and the ones you picked, $25.00 or not, are adorable. :)

Kim {Yep, they are all mine} said...

You are an amazing woman, Kim. And you'll be in my thoughts. xoxo

Amy said...

Everything will be fine. My dad died of Lymphoma and every time I feel any type of swelling, zit, lump anywhere I start to panic.

Have a good night. Stay off Google.

(p.s. I like Camille a lot more this season than I did last. Do you think Kim is on dope, or what???)

Kristin said...

Oh girl, I wish I could crawl through the computer and give you a great big hug! Getting older sucks, and knowing what lies ahead as in the fate of our parents, it's hard to remain ignorant forever. I heard something the other day that has stuck with me...we've reached a point in our lives when we've stopped getting things and now things are being taken away. Our innocence over things like the big C, etc. are now realities staring us in the face. I have to go in for a procedure soon and am desperately dreading it! So, I am right there with you, charging forward, with a happy face on, being ever the optimist, but scared shitless inside. Hang in there my friend, and know I for one am thinking about you and praying that all turns out just fine.

Megan said...

You look amazing and I love the new shades. Sounds like an emotional roller coaster you are on, so just pop those shades on and scream loud with your hands up when you get to the top.

Rooting for you...

Andrea said...

You look tres chic Kim. All will be well, I'm sure of it. I'll be thinking of you from over here :) Hugs xxx

Nicolle said...

Kim, my sweet friend, you are amazing and gorgeous. I am praying for you. For all you've been through and for peace.

Like someone else said, stay off google. :) I don't like to be one of those people who match stories, but my sis is going through this right now, biopsies of fibroids, something on her mammogram, hysterectomy next month. All I could do was scream and cry and now try to find some calm in it all. BUT, that is easier said than done.

I'm thinking of you and sending you a big old Texas hug!


mandy said...

big hugs to my friend in her new big glasses.
let us know as soon as you find out.
prayers of strength and peace to you.

Anonymous said...

Wish I wore sunglasses that well. You look fabulous!
Praying that you'll be celebrating good news soon.

sloan said...

missed this yesterday - busy with puppy :) ... HANG IN THERE!! i am the captain of anxiety, so who am i to talk about hanging in there, but hellz yes to the 2nd pair of shades - whatever works, sista!

vanessa said...

Praying all is well with you and your anxiety calms.

Kyria @ Travel Spot said...

I've got my fingers crossed! It's probably nothing! BTW, those are awesome shades!

Jen said...

You know that I am a OB/GYN nurse, right? You are right NOT to worry. Fibroids are so very common. You will surely feel better once you hear something. Yay for the glasses and boo for Google. We all do it though. Hugs!

Amy said...

I am so far behind and sure you've already gotten results back but wanted to send my hugs anyway.

And, hello gorgeous! Love this shot of you.

erin said...

Oh, I do so hope you hear back soon Kim! Sending hugs your way.